Let's talk about New Year's resolutions. You know, those promises we make to ourselves as the clock strikes midnight – the ones that are supposed to make us better, fitter, richer, and overall just smashing success stories by the end of the year. But is this whole resolution thing more like a setup for stress and letdowns? Let’s unpack why setting resolutions might be doing us more harm than good.
The Pressure to Change:
The societal expectation to set ambitious resolutions as the clock strikes midnight can create an intense pressure to make sweeping changes. Psychologically, this pressure may lead us to set unrealistic goals, aiming for radical transformations that may not align with our capabilities, resources, or timelines. The burden of meeting these expectations can contribute to stress, anxiety, and a sense of inadequacy, potentially overshadowing the positive intentions behind setting resolutions.
The Cycle of Failure and Guilt:
Research suggests that a significant number of people abandon their New Year resolutions within the first few months, leading to a cycle of failure and guilt. The inability to meet lofty goals may result in feelings of disappointment, self-blame, and a diminished sense of self-worth. Psychologically, this cycle can perpetuate a negative mindset, making it challenging for us to approach future goal-setting with optimism and confidence.
The Unrealistic ‘All-or-Nothing’ Mentality:
One common psychological pitfall associated with New Year resolutions is the adoption of an all-or-nothing mentality. This means we may perceive setbacks or deviations from their resolutions as complete failures, neglecting any progress we have already made. This rigid thinking can hinder resilience and adaptability, as well as contribute to a sense of hopelessness that may impede future attempts at self-improvement.
Negative Impact on Wellbeing:
In some cases, the pursuit of New Year resolutions can negatively impact mental and emotional wellbeing. The constant focus on self-improvement may lead to a perpetual state of dissatisfaction, as we become fixated on perceived flaws or areas for improvement. This hyper-focus on personal shortcomings can contribute to stress and undermine the overall wellbeing of individuals striving for unattainable ideals.
A Balanced Approach:
While setting goals is a fundamental aspect of personal development, we can work on reducing the harmful effects of New Year resolutions by adopting a more balanced and realistic approach. Encouraging self-compassion, acknowledging the journey of growth, and embracing flexibility in the face of setbacks can contribute to a healthier mindset. Additionally, reframing resolutions as ongoing, adaptable goals rather than rigid mandates for change may reduce the potential for harm.
So cut yourselves some slack, acknowledge that the journey is messy, and embrace the idea that goals can evolve. It's less about setting these grand plans in stone and more about being flexible with the process.
To talk about this some more, give our team a call on (03) 9882 8874 or email admin@melbournewellbeinggroup.com.au
This blog was written and prepared by Hannah Gersh – Clinical Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.