What Is the Mental Load, Really?

It’s a term we hear more and more — mental load. It gets mentioned in conversations about gender roles, parenting, emotional labour, even workplace stress. But what does it actually mean? The mental load refers to the ongoing, invisible, and often unacknowledged mental effort of managing life. Not just doing the tasks, but remembering, planning, anticipating, tracking, worrying, and organising all the moving parts. It’s the background thinking that keeps everyone else functioning, even when no one sees it.

While the decision to separate is undeniably complex and deeply personal for adults, there's a critical perspective often overlooked: the children. In the whirlwind of selling or moving houses, legal proceedings, emotional turmoil, and logistical changes, a fundamental question frequently goes unasked: "Is this what you want?"

In recent years, many individuals and families have faced growing financial strain. Rising housing prices, increased grocery bills, soaring energy costs — it’s no wonder the cost of living crisis has become one of the defining challenges of our time. But while much of the focus is understandably on bank accounts and budgets, there's another crucial piece of the puzzle we must not overlook: the impact on our mental health.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a condition that often sparks passionate discussion — not only among clinicians, but in wider society. Over the years, many voices have shaped how we think about ADHD. One of the most well-known is Dr Gabor Maté, a physician and bestselling author, whose views sometimes contrast with the broader scientific literature. So, what exactly are these differences — and why do they matter?

Heartbreak is rarely simple. Whether it catches you off guard or creeps in slowly over time, ending a relationship tends to leave behind a tangle of emotions. It might come with deep sadness, confusion, guilt, relief, anger — often all in the same afternoon. You might be the one who was left, the one who left, or the one who saw it coming and still feels completely unprepared. No matter how it unfolds, heartbreak is a form of grief. And it’s okay if it hurts more than you expected it to.

Living with a chronic illness – or supporting someone who is – quietly changes almost everything. It’s not just about appointments and medications, though there are often plenty of those. It’s the background stress, the unpredictability, the way it sneaks into identity, work, relationships, even self-worth. It’s often invisible to others, but its impact can be all-encompassing.