If you live with OCD, you might have noticed something strange about your memory. You check, re-check, then… check again. Even when you know something is done or something is locked, you still have an inkling of maybe it isn’t…
You may start to wonder, “Do I have a terrible memory?” I’ve had several clients come in with this question, “am I losing my mind?” or even “do I have early onset dementia?” It’s an understandable fear. When you can’t trust your memory, it can feel terrifying.
In reality, people with OCD generally don’t have poor memory – they have poor memory confidence. The memory structures and capabilities in themselves are fine, but the trust in the memory is where it breaks down.
The Doubting Disease
Doubt, the hallmark of OCD, creeps into everything: thoughts, actions, sensations. So much so, that OCD has been commonly referred to as the doubting disease. You may logically know the stove is off, yet something deep inside whispers, “but what if it’s not?” The small flicker of uncertainty, the uncomfortable sensation, compels you to check, replay, or seek reassurance.
Memory Confidence and the Checking Loop
Psychologist Stanley Rachman (2002) proposed a model of checking in OCD: the more you check, the less confidence you feel. Each check erodes trust in your own memory, creating a vicious loop: less confidence leads to more checking, and more checking further weakens confidence in memory.
In a large study, van den Hout and Kindt (2003) asked participants to check a virtual stove 20 times. As you may guess, despite their memory accuracy remaining perfectly intact, their confidence in that memory dropped dramatically. They also felt a stronger urge to keep checking.
This finding has been replicated across dozens of studies. Whether the checking is physical (locks, appliances) or mental (rumination, replaying events) or reassurance-seeking of others, the outcome is the same: checking feeds doubt instead of relieving it.
Interestingly, even when participants in studies were told they had poor memory (even if they didn’t), their memory confidence dropped and their urge to re-check increased. This shows how strongly our beliefs about memory shape our memory of it.
This phenomenon is also known as Memory Distrust Syndrome. A term for when people distrust their memories despite showing no actual impairment.
In OCD, memory structures are typically intact, but attention can be divided. The mind is busy scanning for danger, managing intrusive thoughts, tracking sensations, leaving less capacity to be present and encode experiences clearly. As a result, memories can feel fuzzy, vague, or incomplete. A person may remember locking the door but the image feels dreamlike, leading to renewed doubt and another round of checking to get the vivid certainty that never comes.
On top of that, people with OCD tend to hold higher standards for what counts as a “good enough” memory. While most people can relax after a quick check, someone with OCD might feel they need to recall every sound, detail, and visual cue vividly to feel safe. When those standards aren’t met — which is nearly always — it reinforces the belief that their memory is unreliable.
Rebuilding Trust in Memory
Fortunately, research shows that memory confidence can be rebuilt. Not by training memory itself, but by changing our beliefs about our memory.
Exposure and Response Prevention targets this loop directly by limiting checking behaviours. By learning to resist checking and surfing that urge, clients discover that their memory can be trusted even when it doesn’t feel certain. Over time, their confidence naturally strengthens.
And what about if we have to check? Sometimes, you do. Sometimes, checking is reasonable, and we all do it. The difference is how you do it. Try making checking intentional, not compulsive. Slow down, be mindful, look once, and resist the urge to check again. It’s all about making checking intentional, not compulsive.
OCD is not a memory problem – it’s a confidence problem. The mind has learned to distrust itself, confusing doubt with danger. Rebuilding memory trust means learning to tolerance uncertainty and let go of the chase for that perfect reassurance and feeling.
As you practice this, you may find your memory was never broken. You just needed to believe in yourself again.