There's a version of you that says yes when you mean no. That apologises for things that aren't your fault. That scans a room to figure out what everyone else needs before you've even checked in with yourself.

If that sounds familiar, you might recognise what psychologists call people pleasing, and you're far from alone.

People pleasing often gets dismissed as just being "too nice" or "a bit of a pushover." But in clinical practice, what we actually see is something much more layered. It's a deeply ingrained pattern of prioritising other people's comfort, approval, and emotional states at the expense of your own needs, boundaries, and sometimes even your identity.

And here's the thing most people don't realise: people pleasing isn't really about being kind. It's about managing fear.

Most people describe themselves as overthinkers at some point in their lives. They replay conversations. They analyse decisions. They worry about the future. They question whether they handled things well. They imagine alternative outcomes. They try to prepare for every possibility. In moderation, this is part of being thoughtful and responsible. But for some people, thinking does not feel helpful. It feels compulsive. It feels exhausting. It feels impossible to switch off. No matter how much they analyse, they never feel satisfied. Answers lead to more questions. Reassurance fades quickly. Doubt returns.

Many people who describe themselves as perfectionists do not see it as a problem. They see it as part of who they are. They are organised. They are conscientious. They care about quality. They work hard. They hold themselves to high standards. These traits are often praised at school, in workplaces, and in families. From the outside, perfectionism can look like motivation and discipline. From the inside, it often feels very different.

If your child often comes to you with the same worried questions "Are you sure I’ll be okay?", "Will the dog bite me?", "What if I get sick at school?" you’re far from alone. Many parents of anxious children find themselves answering the same questions over and over, sometimes dozens of times a day. And the answers don’t seem to stick.

It can feel like the right thing to do. Your child is worried, you have the calm, factual answer, and giving it offers a moment of relief. But many parents notice something puzzling over time: the more they reassure, the more questions seem to come. The relief lasts a few moments before the next "What if…?" arrives.

Today we’re looking at what reassurance-seeking really is, why it tends to grow rather than fade, and what tends to help instead. The aim isn’t to withhold love or comfort. It’s to respond in ways that actually reduce anxiety over time, rather than quietly feeding it.

If you have ever felt caught between two opposing forces (one that wants everything checked, ordered and certain, and another that cannot sit still long enough to finish the job) you are not imagining it. For many people, OCD and ADHD do not show up neatly on their own. They overlap, tangle, and at times contradict each other.

It is a combination we see often in clinic, and one that is frequently missed. Either the OCD gets diagnosed and the ADHD is overlooked, or the ADHD is treated while the obsessive-compulsive symptoms keep quietly running the show. Today lets unpack how the two can co-exist, why each can mask or amplify the other, and what actually helps when both are part of the picture.

You may first notice small bald patches at the back of your child’s head. Perhaps a row of red marks along their arm, raw cuticles from constant picking, or eyelashes that seem to have thinned without explanation. When you gently ask, you’re told, “I didn’t even know I was doing it.”

Body-focused repetitive behaviours, or BFRBs, are often mistaken for bad habits, boredom, or tics. Many parents spend years wondering why their child pulls their hair, picks at their skin, or bites their nails well beyond the age they expected these behaviours to stop. Many teens and young adults live with deep, quiet shame about behaviours they can’t quite explain or control.

This blog is for parents, carers, and young people who’ve noticed something that doesn’t fit the “bad habit” explanation. We’ll walk through what BFRBs really are, what keeps them going, and the kinds of approaches that actually help.