Over the past few years, a particular image of “wellness” has become almost impossible to avoid online. It is often referred to as the clean girl aesthetic. It usually looks like minimal makeup, glowing skin, perfectly styled hair, colour coordinated outfits, a spotless home, neatly organised routines, green juices, Pilates, early mornings, and calm productivity. On the surface, it appears healthy. It promotes self care, structure, and balance. It suggests a life that is calm, intentional, and in control. But in my work as a clinical psychologist, I am seeing more and more people, especially women, who feel quietly distressed by this ideal. They are not inspired by it. They are exhausted by it. They feel like they are constantly falling short of an invisible standard that no real person can maintain.
Clean girl culture does not usually present itself as pressure. It presents itself as aspiration. It says, If you just organise better, eat better, think better, and try harder, you will feel better. For people who are already prone to anxiety, perfectionism, or OCD, this message can be deeply destabilising.
Many of the clients I work with describe a similar experience. They begin by following wellness accounts because they want to feel calmer or more grounded. Over time, they start comparing their real lives to carefully curated online images. They notice their own mess. Their tired face. Their missed workouts. Their emotional ups and downs. Their chaotic mornings. Their unfinished to do lists. Slowly, they internalise the belief that something is wrong with them.
Clean girl culture promotes an image of emotional control as much as physical control. The ideal person is not just organised. She is also calm, positive, and unbothered. She handles stress gracefully. She does not appear overwhelmed. She does not fall apart. She does not struggle. This is particularly damaging for people dealing with anxiety, postnatal adjustment, burnout, or chronic stress. They already feel vulnerable. Seeing constant images of effortless composure reinforces shame.
I should be coping better.
I should be more together.
I should not feel like this.
Another issue is the way routines are portrayed. Many influencers share highly structured daily schedules that include early rising, skincare rituals, exercise, meal prep, journaling, and productivity blocks. These routines are framed as the key to mental health. Structure can be helpful. But when routines become rigid standards, they turn into another way to judge oneself. For someone with OCD or perfectionistic tendencies, this can become a trap. They may feel compelled to follow routines perfectly. Missing one step can trigger guilt and anxiety. A disrupted morning can ruin the entire day emotionally. Instead of supporting wellbeing, routines become rules.
Clean girl culture also reinforces the idea that mental health is something you can optimise through discipline. If you are anxious, you need better habits. If you are overwhelmed, you need more control. If you are struggling, you need to fix yourself. This ignores the reality that mental health is shaped by biology, life events, relationships, trauma, social context, and chance. You cannot meditate your way out of every problem. You cannot skincare your way out of burnout. You cannot organise your way out of grief. Yet many people feel they should be able to.
For new mothers, this pressure is particularly intense. Postpartum bodies, sleep deprivation, emotional volatility, and identity shifts collide with images of women who appear to bounce back instantly. The message is subtle but powerful. You should look serene. You should look polished. You should be coping. When reality does not match this, shame grows.
Clean girl culture also tends to erase mess. It hides support systems, financial privilege, paid help, flexible schedules, and editing. What is presented as personal discipline is often structural advantage. Viewers compare their real, unsupported lives to someone else’s highlight reel and conclude that they are failing.
From a clinical perspective, I see this culture intensify several unhelpful patterns. It increases self monitoring. People become hyper aware of how they look, perform, and function. It strengthens perfectionism. Standards become rigid and unforgiving. It fuels avoidance. People withdraw when they cannot meet the ideal. It reinforces all or nothing thinking. Either I am doing wellness perfectly or I have failed. It reduces self compassion. Struggle is seen as weakness. None of this promotes genuine wellbeing.
True mental health is messy. It involves fluctuation. It includes bad days, low motivation, inconsistent routines, emotional vulnerability, and periods of chaos. It involves learning how to be kind to yourself when things are not tidy. Healthy self care is flexible. It adapts to context. It supports life rather than controlling it. This might mean skipping a workout when you are exhausted. Eating whatever is available when you are overwhelmed. Letting the house be messy during hard weeks. Cancelling plans when you need rest. Allowing yourself to feel flat without fixing it.
These choices rarely look good on social media. But they are often psychologically protective. If you notice that wellness content leaves you feeling inadequate, pressured, or anxious, it is worth paying attention to that. Inspiration should feel energising, not shaming. You are allowed to curate your digital environment. You can unfollow accounts that make you feel worse. You can seek voices that normalise imperfection. You can prioritise content that reflects real life. And you are allowed to define wellbeing on your own terms.
If you find that perfectionism, self criticism, or comparison are affecting your mental health, working with a psychologist can help you develop a more compassionate and flexible relationship with yourself. Evidence based therapy supports people to build resilience that does not depend on appearing “together”.
Real wellbeing is not an aesthetic. It is the ability to live fully, imperfectly, and with self respect.
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This blog was written and prepared by Dr Celin Gelgec – Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.