Perfectionism is often praised in our culture. Job interviews reward “perfectionist” as a strength, schools admire students who push for flawless results, and many people wear the label with pride. But behind the polished surface, perfectionism carries hidden costs that can quietly erode mental health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.
What Perfectionism Really Is:
Perfectionism isn’t just “wanting to do well.” It’s the belief that nothing short of perfect is acceptable. It often involves setting unrealistically high standards, being overly critical of mistakes, and tying self-worth to achievement. There are generally two main types of perfectionism, the first being Self-oriented perfectionism, holding yourself to impossible standards. The second is Socially prescribed perfectionism, feeling others expect perfection from you. These high standards are typically unrelenting and both can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout.
If we accept that perfectionism may not in fact be a positive or helpful attribute, what are the hidden costs?
1. Mental Health Strain
Perfectionism is linked to anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. The fear of failure creates constant tension.
2. Procrastination
Many perfectionists delay starting tasks because “if it can’t be perfect, why try?” This cycle reinforces guilt and stress. At its extreme, perfectionism can be disabling for individuals
3. Burnout
The relentless drive to do more, better, and flawlessly often ends in exhaustion and loss of motivation.
4. Impact on Relationships
Perfectionists may have high expectations not only for themselves but for others—leading to conflict, criticism, or difficulty being satisfied. This can impact personal and professional relationships.
5. Reduced Growth
Ironically, perfectionism can stunt learning. Mistakes are essential for growth, but perfectionists avoid risks that might reveal imperfection.
Perfectionism and OCD: When High Standards Become Obsessions
Perfectionism and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often overlap, but they are not the same thing. Many people with OCD struggle with perfectionistic thinking, and perfectionism can fuel obsessive-compulsive cycles.
● Symmetry and exactness: A person might feel compelled to line things up “just right” or repeat tasks until they meet an internal sense of perfection.
● Fear of mistakes: Some experience intense anxiety about making errors, even in small details, like sending an email or locking a door.
● Checking and reassurance-seeking: Perfectionistic doubts (“What if I missed something?”) can drive repetitive checking or asking others for confirmation or reassurance.
● Moral or performance perfectionism: In OCD, this can appear as excessive concern with morality, being a “good” person, or needing to perform tasks flawlessly to prevent harm.
The key difference is that while everyday perfectionism is about striving for high standards, OCD perfectionism is driven by intrusive thoughts and anxiety, relieved temporarily by compulsive behaviors. Understanding this overlap is important, because what looks like “just being a perfectionist” may actually be part of a treatable mental health condition.
Shifting from Perfection to Healthy Striving
● Practice self-compassion: Treat mistakes as part of being human, not as proof of failure.
● Set “good enough” goals: Aim for progress, not perfection.
● Challenge all-or-nothing thinking: Notice when your mind says, “If it’s not perfect, it’s worthless.”
● Celebrate effort, not outcome: Value persistence and creativity as much as results.
● Seek support: Therapy can help reframe unhelpful patterns and build healthier standards.
Perfectionism promises success, but often delivers stress, exhaustion, and disconnection. Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean giving up high standards. It means making room for growth, joy, and balance. And for some, noticing when perfectionism crosses into OCD can be the first step toward seeking the right kind of help.
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